What I thought I’d talk about today is something of great personal anger to me, slow walkers! Now if, like me, you are a lover of walking there is nothing more irritating than being stuck behind a slow walker, or even worse a group of slow walkers! I think the main irritant about it is that there’s a certain etiquette to the subtle passing manoeuvre that must be performed to pass these people who have not got a clue about the speed a normal person walks.
The first situation, and probably the most common, that you may find yourself in is trying to walk somewhere and seeing in the middle distance a person of, shall we say, a certain age that you know before long you are going to have to try and pass and you are now left with an internal dilemma. Do you slow your own pace to a ridiculously slow pace and hope the old dear takes a side road leaving you free to continue your journey at the correct pace unobstructed. The problem with this idea however is that if the old dear does not divert her path however slowly you are walking you are going to end up catching up with her because even your slow walk is faster than her. And so we find ourselves approaching her and she is not going to be diverted from the same course as you and you know you are now going to have to perform a tricky pass because do you suddenly walk at top speed and just rush past her knowing that you will have to maintain that pace until you are out of her sight? Alternatively you can subtly increase your pace so it looks like you are just naturally faster, a perfectly reasonable assumption given her age, however there’s going to be a time when you’re walking side by side which is always an awkward situation. Another option is to cross over the road and walk on the other side but you’re then on the wrong side for what you want and you know full well that you will have to cross again at some point and what happens if there’s traffic and you then rejoin the correct side still behind the old lady the whole idea has been pointless!
Another situation could be getting trapped behind a group of slow walkers, if there’s a group, particularly one which expands across the whole pavement, you can’t use the time honoured tactic of simply speeding up and passing them subtly to one side (for some reason acceptable with younger people but not older people). Therefore quite often you’ll get stuck behind the group zig-zagging back and forth waiting for them to notice you are walking faster than them and want to pass. The only other alternative is to walk in the gutter to go past them, but perhaps this is a sign of the times in which we live I always feel very unsafe doing this almost as if at the first opportunity the group are going to push me in front of a passing motor-vehicle just for having the temerity to walk past them! Even worse if you do get past them at a faster a pace and then come to a pelican crossing (incidentally why are they called that anyone know? No? I’ll wiki it!) you find yourself being absorbed by them, and uncomfortable position because you suddenly look for any gap in traffic to try and get across the road to relieve yourself of the socially awkward situation!
My personal advice to anyone like me who likes to walk but finds themselves personally irritated by slow walkers is to walk at all times in a cycle path if available because no-one slow goes in them and if the cyclists complain (well my hatred of cyclists is well known already) blame the old dears and the slow walkers and tell them if they want you out of their cycle lane they should petition the council for fast and slow walkers lanes, the only possible solution to this socially awkward situation!
This week Matt
- Re-discovered the wonders of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels, I do like a bit of inappropriate racism!
- Had a mild heart attack at his credit card bill
- Found out that a a pelican crossing is so called because it is a contraction of the phrase "Pedestrian Light Controlled (PELICON) Crossing", isn't that fascinating, god love Wiki!
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